


Just a Joke

by pseudobulbarism (killewich)



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Violence, Crack, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-19 04:10:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22571707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killewich/pseuds/pseudobulbarism
Summary: "Go on, guess."
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	Just a Joke

**Author's Note:**

> i blame kai

I realize that treading around my manic fits safely was something similar to a game of playing Minesweeper on a dartboard, but that was hardly a reason to excuse the sheer stupidity in the six men surrounding me. To think, I actually paid the collective of probably three, at best, brain cells shared between these goons was downright enough to send me into an episode in itself.

"GUESS!"

"Uh, Boss, could'ja repeat the joke?"

I need to calm down. I'm going to have a stroke over a goddamn joke. I pinch the bridge of my nose, exhaling harshly.

"Only because I cut off your other ear already," I seethe through clenched teeth, willing whatever deity that gave two shits about my blood pressure to calm me down enough to manage actually repeating myself instead of opening my mouth again and just releasing a blood-curdling scream instead.

It doesn't work, but I preserve. Tough crowd, it happens. It's fine. Just repeat the joke, they'll understand it the second time.

"What is a skeleton's favorite snack?"

Silence grates on my nerves, but again, I muster up the patience to give them a chance. They were hired for muscle, not brains.

"Go on, guess."

But for fuck's sake, this wasn't some cryptic riddle elegantly placed before them. It was a joke.

"Death?" Comes a reply, and I'd applaud the attempt in better spirits, at least one of them could follow a simple command.

"No... go on, actually think about it. Guess."

A joke!

One of them starts snickering, it a small, nervous sound, getting a little louder as I receive a sheepish, "I 'unno."

"Go on," I urge as politely as I can muster, my temper rising as does my tone, "Guess!"

Apparently the situation seemed funnier than my joke. Another pops off with a snort, which in turn makes a third laugh.

Three fucking brain cells it was.

"Why are you laughing, I haven't told the told the punchline yet?!"

Before I can even process it, I snap. I pull a gun out of my pocket, not even bothering with a warning shot. The one who started the laughing eats lead, and I throw my arms up.

At least the bullet was enough to stop the collective hive to stop.

"Guess!"

"Boss, wh—"

Not a guess, and my patience is cashed out. A second shot is fired, another body dropping to the ground with a sickening ' _ thud _ .'

"FUCK!" With two people now out of my way, I move to the closest shipping container in the muggy warehouse. Several good slams of my noggin' into the metal sedates me from any more bodies, but I'd be stupid to be hopeful enough for that to last. "GUESS! Guess, goddamn you all!"

_Nothing_.

I turn around, waving the gun as a threat. I'm going absolutely insane, I've finally snapped for good. "Why won't you answer me?!"

"Uh, b-...bones?"

My arms fall back to my sides. I go still. My face blanks, and for a moment, so does my brain.

"NO!" Back to the cool, thick metal my head goes, bouncing off it about five times I suppose, " _ NO _ !"

I don't even aim this time, I just shoot. It's not enough to do anything fatal, but I do receive a pretty wonderful cry in response. At least screams of agony would always be a correct answer to any question.

But not my joke.

"What is it?! Why must you all fail me so often?!"

One opens their mouth, and I don't even care anymore. The joke's gone, it's ruined, my mood beyond repair. I open fire, releasing the rest of the clip and murder the lot of them left.

"RIBS. SPARE RIBS, FUCK!"

**Author's Note:**

> in case you haven't seen the video or know the reference, here u go: https://twitter.com/PowrBottomJoker/status/1224990186737549313


End file.
